CHALLENGES IN EARLY MARRIAGE THAT CAN LINGER ON IF NOT CHECKED.
So now you’re married to the lady and guy of your dreams,
CONGRATULATIONS
You are about to head to the moon to find some honey, but hold on a Sec.
The first year and the early years you spend as husband and wife will be one of the most challenging for you as a couple.
Study has shown that most Marriages break up in the first four/five years of Marriage and once past that stage most Marriages tended to last BUT not all oooo.
You know, at this stage, whether you like it or not, You’re still getting to know each other and there will be so many new situations to manage.
(Remember, no matter how long the courtship, you can never know someone completely).
It’s not necessarily about how long the courtship was,but how well it was done
Surprises await everyone in marriage,even when courtship is well done.
Knowing about what to expect in the first year of marriage will help you prepare adequately and may even prevent some of the challenges.
So here’s a list for everyone to take note of…
1. MONEY ISSUES
When you get married, you have to make a big financial shift, otherwise wahala wee sup.
Regardless of whether there’s a sole breadwinner or you’re both baking the bread, you’ll start learning each other’s spending/saving habits.
Perhaps one person is more frugal and the other lives within a strict budget.
Especially for those who didn’t cohabit (which is the right thing), and who weren’t staying too close, you may not know his or her spending habits completely..
Money issues destroy homes even more than sex issues..
Being able to come together to sort out spending and financial goals is very important in the beginning.
And discuss finance during courtship
2. IN-LAWS
No matter how cool you were with your fiance’s family before marriage, being officially man and wife will bring about a few changes.
Suddenly, you are
“Ìyàwó”
Our Wife”,
“My Son”
There are obligations to consider and boundaries to set in that first year of marriage.
If you didn’t envisage and prepare for this, it could really shake your home
It’s advised that the new couple ask family to stay away for the first two or three years of marriage, though this may not be feasible in some cases, but it’s the best choice..
So that in that first two years they can settle issues that come up together without a third party being around to take sides..
And they can be free to be intimate in the house as they like without any interruption..
It is advised that in a marriage, the man should handle his family members (especially the stubborn ones) while the woman handles her own family members in same manner
And please, when a family is rejecting you, don’t force yourself to marry their child.
Be Wise
Pray some more
A family that hates you can go to extra lengths to oust you from their brothers home even after you guys are married, except God spoke to you expressly that he is the man,it shows you are on a mission to fulfil purpose together,no matter what.
3. QUIRKS….. BECOME MORE BOTHERSOME
What are quirks?
Those little annoying things that your partner once did that you probably find adorable will soon become irksome.
If he’s a talker, for instance, you may begin to find the idea of staying up late to listen to him or him distracting you when you’re reading increasingly irritating.
If she was always scattering her clothes all over her room each time you visited for important discussion and you didn’t mind, after marriage, you might start getting very irritated by that habit.
So, you’d need to arm yourself with patience and determination to see that you find a way around such situations as they come.
And not resort to quarreling and fighting
4. HOUSEHOLD CHORES
This is ehn……. The real deal.
If you’ve never lived together before, (which is the Christian standard) you’ll be faced with what to do with chore sharing in the first year of marriage.
Who washes the dishes today.?
Who sweeps today?
Who cooks?
Especially where both of you have different ideologies about house chores and gender roles ,
If you both work full-time, you will have to come up with how to sort out everything in such a way that one partner does not feel resentful about being made to do it all.
It’s best you discuss house chores with your wife to be or husband to be during courtship.
What are your expectations?
What do you expect me to be doing as a Woman?
And what will you be doing as the man?
Who does what?
DISCUSS IT.
A young Man married a Woman and the next day asked her to go into the kitchen to prepare food for him, she asked him if he was okay, that was how their problems started, the marriage eventually broke up in less than a month..
5. INTIMACY/$€X
Especially for Christians, and virgins, a lot of discoveries, a lot of getting used to, a lot of trying to get the whole sex department running smoothly can become a challenge..
For instance, for a Man who has premature ejaculation, since he is a Virgin, he may never know he has such problem till he gets married, and then when he finally finds out, of course madam wouldn’t be impressed, and he himself not happy,
now such issue can cause a strain in a young marriage if wisdom is not applied
A lot of discoveries will happen that will require wisdom.
For instance some women experience pain during sex, It’s just normal, they may never know till marriage.
Some woman don’t like any body touching their breasts, they themselves may not know this till their wedding night and many nights after that,, and where the man likes to touch is that part, Wahala has organize match for such a young couple be dat.
We also have the issue of oral sex, a person who agrees to it before marriage can suddenly change their mind after experiencing it, and then their spouse is left feeling deceived.
Couples can even begin to feel so comfortable in their marriage that they don’t have that urgency to connect physically like they did when they were dating, like dating and going out on dates.
Sometimes one partner is more comfortable with letting sex take a back seat, feeling okay if sex happens once in a week only, while the other feels resentful if he or she isn’t getting sex every two hours hahaha
SOLUTIONS
Open communication is the best way to deal with any of these situations above
Talk to your partner if you’re not happy with the situation of things and you should be able to come to a compromise that works for you both.
Seek Wise Counselors, not people who will take sides or even give you solutions that will compound your problem…
PRAYER..
Never underestimate the power of prayer.Prayer works.
Also,
Seek medical advice and help of any medical problem arises.
Let go your shame and ego and put your marriage ahead.
BE FLEXIBLE
You can’t win all the fight, you can always have things go your own way.
Lose the battle so you can win the war
Even the strongest of tress bend sometimes.
Don’t force your opinions and preferences down your spouses throat..
May God help you in Jesus name
We@
MMM CARES
FHH CARES